To my LGBTQ brothers and sisters, friends and neighbors,
It's time for a confession. It's not a great big secret (google my real name and you'll find it). I donated money and time to the Prop 8 campaign in California. I pushed past the sick feeling in my gut that what we were doing was harmful and unnecessary. I thought that obedience to my ecclesiastical leaders, in all their ambiguous-almost-committing-but-not-quite instructions to participate in the movement to pass the proposition that caused so much grief was more important than listening to my own conscience. I mean, after all, I must have been fighting feelings of darkness from the adversary trying to convince me that it was okay to be gay. I must have just been struggling against my natural desire to sin or rebel.
I know better now. After years on an emotional roller-coaster, I've finally reached my final destination. I'm stepping off with wobbly legs and a repentant heart. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I contributed to the bigotry and ignorance in the world. I'm sorry I stood in a place of judgment, standing on very shaky doctrinal ground. I'm sorry I caved to the pressure of friends and family around me as they parroted the buzzwords and paranoia that swirled around every Sunday as I attended church. I'm sorry that I ever thought that somehow two people loving each other and committing to each other would somehow damage my family life or civil rights. It's so blindingly obvious to me now how wrong the whole thing was. It was hurtful and damaging. And I am so, so sorry.
As far as I'm concerned, the gay couples of this country have a vital part in upholding family values in our society. You've had to fight hard for any rights you have, and I have a feeling that you will cherish your marriages and your relationships so much more than so many others. I am not here to tell you who to love, or how to love. I'm not here to "love the sinner, hate the sin", and all of the condescending judgment that that implies. And I finally know that.
I'd like to conclude my heartfelt apology with a beautiful prayer written by my friend Jena. You can read the full version
here, but this is my favorite part:
Forgive me of my blind acceptance of the status quo. Forgive me my pious bigotry and loving ignorance, the walls behind which I hid and believed they preserved the purity of my soul. I didn't understand that those walls were built of dross, built to be burned in the refiner's fire, burned to reveal to me the true nature of your love. Forgive me for not listening to my inner voice that dared to disagree.
Sincerely,
Dryad
