A declaration of personhood

I am sharing this because it is SO important. Wouldn't it be nice if every country in the world adopted this?

Declaration of Personhood

And on that note, you all should be reading the Feminist Mormon Housewives blog on a regular basis anyway. It is virtuous and lovely and of good report.

Great Stuff From Other People!

http://mormonmatters.org/2009/11/17/romantic-paternalism/

This lady hits the nail on the head with her thoughts on the church's romantic paternalism.  I'm pretty sure this goes on in other churches, as well.  Our culture is not nearly so egalitarian as we would like to believe sometimes.

http://thingsofmysoul.blogspot.com/2011/08/reframing-and-pruning-in-church.html

A good collection of thoughts on the priesthood ban that was lifted in 1979 (1978? why can't I remember? And why am I too lazy to look it up?)


That's it for today.

Some clarification on the new hole in my face

This. Is not me.  Though I'm sure some people think I'm headed down this road now.

Here is a short list of reasons why I just pierced my nose.  I'm about to turn 30, and I have no business in a piercing parlor like some rebellious teenager.  So here we go:

1.  A stud in my nose makes me surprisingly more accessible.  At least, I feel more accessible--which technically will change my behavior enough for other people to notice and feel more comfortable talking to me. People who would not have been comfortable talking to me casually because of my age or bland clothing or the carseat in the back of my car, can see that I'm just slightly in the black sheep fold and perhaps some cultural barriers can fall.  This is my plan, anyway.  The other option is that kids think I'm stupid because, well, I'm not a rebellious teenager with pink hair.  We'll just vote for the first half of the plan.

2.  I had to kill Molly Mormon.  I had to break that attachment to and obsession with Mormon culture that led to so much guilt and fear.  In the words of a dear friend, I had to "let what is holy be holy, and let what is mundane be mundane."  Too much of my life I spent caught up in the mundane, giving it space on the holy shelf.  So much time was wasted that actual holy things almost didn't fit in my life.  I focused on the outer things like the cut of my clothing or the age I got married.  My sense of worth was tied to the level of 'modesty' of my clothing, the level of shining star returned missionary whose hand I was holding, the clocked time I spent on my knees, how many children I could push out before I hit 30, and the clean and organized atmosphere of my home, complete with walls saturated with pictures ordered from Deseret Book.
IT. WAS. NOT. HEALTHY.
My sense of worth went down the toilet so, so, so, many times.  On the outside, I was trying to conform to the Molly Mormon image, because I thought it would bring happiness, just like all the stories in the Young Women's manuals.  On the inside, I contemplated suicide many times, and got close to actually following through several times.
Piercing my nose was enough to make that necessary break, and to free myself.

3.  My clothes are boring.  I can't afford to dress to fit my personality--I don't have the time or inclination to put in the effort that would take, and I don't have the money.  I have a little smug self-satisfaction now because I know that at least a little of my personality is shining through--why, yes. Yes I am different from you, Sister.
I doubt anyone at school will ever care or even notice, but I sure will be making a statement in my ward on Sunday... :)
And if anyone in my family actually takes the time to read my blog.. surprise! hehehehe

Die, Molly! Die!

Ok, I'm not really that intense.  But seriously--is there a way to kill an unhealthy piece of culture?

Here ya go, family! I spent all day in the kitchen, without mussing my hair or makeup.

 Yesterday I went out and did something that was traumatically painful--I wasn't expecting it to be so painful, because in the world at large, it's almost entirely insignificant.  No one from my weekday life cares, and hardly anyone noticed.  But I've been feeling a giant break inside myself.  I feel like I cut off a diseased limb, but I miss that limb.  I've been living with that limb since I was born, and it's been reinforced as a vital part of my makeup by everyone around me.
That little piece of culture has been preached over many a pulpit and in many classes full of young women eager to prove their worth based on the guidelines they're given.  Going against the grain on this one is a sort of declaration-to myself, and to other church members: I am not a Molly Mormon.  I do not sew; I love to cook, but it's organic, not bulk crap food from the food storage centers; I do not drink Tang; I go barefoot as much as possible; I have friends who identify as gay and lesbian; I believe in evolution sometimes; I am a feminist; I hug trees; I do 'weird' Pagan rituals that involve lighting candles and thinking about (GASP) Goddess; I plan on working at least part time, and it might even be outside the home, and it won't necessarily be because I have to; I talk to my Heavenly Mother just as much as I talk to my Father; I question things, and I use my intellect on purpose; and now I have the cutest ever pierced nose.

Tonight I'll be burning Molly in effigy, and saying a ritual goodbye to: unnecessary guilt, self-loathing, perfectionism, judging people based on appearance and expecting them to conform when they join the church (Acts 15, anyone?), and the layers and layers of fear deeply instilled in my soul by well-meaning teachers and parents.

So yeah. Go ahead and die, Molly.  Rest in peace.

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: it only hurts a little bit (now...), the swelling is on the inside, I'm taking very good care of it, snot will not come out the hole if I get a cold, sometimes it pokes when I rub my nose but I hardly notice, it won't get infected and make my nose fall off.

Quote of the Day

"For three-fourths of my life I felt threatened to the core because I hated to sew. Now, I can sew; if it is absolutely necessary, I will sew—but I hate it. Can you imagine my burden over the last twenty-five or thirty years, “faking it” in Relief Society sessions and trying to smile when six little girls walk into church all pinafored and laced and ribboned and petticoated—in identical, hand-sewn dresses, all trooping ahead of their mother, who has a similar outfit? I don’t necessarily consider my attitude virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy, but I’m honest in my antipathy toward sewing. Obviously the Lord has created us with different personalities, as well as differing degrees of energy, interest, health, talent, and opportunity. So long as we are committed to righteousness and living a life of faithful devotion, we should celebrate these divine differences, knowing they are a gift from God. We must not feel so frightened, so threatened and insecure; we must not need to find exact replicas of ourselves in order to feel validated as women of worth. There are many things over which we can be divided, but one thing is needful for our unity—the empathy and compassion of the living Son of God."

--Sister Patricia Holland

I love this.  For years I've told myself how much I want the life that Mormon culture threw at me as ideal: birth 3 million children, make all their clothes, cook everything from scratch, budget on a shoestring, be a compassionate angel neighbor and community missionary.

Yeah.  Not so much.  But it's ok. :)