Found by my Inner Goddess

The past few days have been filled with a magic unlike any I have felt before now.  I may or may not write my whole experience, but I need to write about my goddess.  She looks like me, only perfectly healthy and sound. Her hair is long and full, her limbs straight and strong, and she walks with confidence, love, and compassion.  Her eyes are pools of wisdom and her movements are graceful.  She is not from this time or place, but from outside time, coming to join me behind my heart-wall to reassure me that hope is real.  She accepts me perfectly, wholly, and loves me without reserve.  She understands every pain and fear and doubt that possesses me, and in a language that does not exist on this earth, she has sworn not to leave me until I no longer need her by my side.  She walks with me, and whispers encouragement into my right ear, and meets me in my safe place to hold my hands and fill my vision with my own divine nature.  She is my future self, the one who has fulfilled her destiny, her potential, her joy.  She has no regrets, only acknowledges her growing experiences with gratitude.
I had looked for her in vain, trying to force her to materialize based on my own perceptions and needs, trying to follow the formula of another person who had found hers.  I gave up, thinking I'd never feel the real magic that has been described by others.  I wished for it, hoped for it, but never expected it.
She came upon me softly yesterday, slipping in through a tiny crack in my shield.  She is the only one behind that wall with me.  Her soft touch has opened my eyes to beauty and joy in my little piece of the world that was hidden behind clouds of rage, disappointment, grief, despair, numbness, and fear.  Her well of love and courage is deep and forever full and available.

I am not fully healed, and I do not know that I ever will be.  But my goddess is with me, and the deepest darkness cannot touch her radiance.  May my shield open enough to allow my Goddess into my heart.

Blessed Be.