Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Die, Molly! Die!

Ok, I'm not really that intense.  But seriously--is there a way to kill an unhealthy piece of culture?

Here ya go, family! I spent all day in the kitchen, without mussing my hair or makeup.

 Yesterday I went out and did something that was traumatically painful--I wasn't expecting it to be so painful, because in the world at large, it's almost entirely insignificant.  No one from my weekday life cares, and hardly anyone noticed.  But I've been feeling a giant break inside myself.  I feel like I cut off a diseased limb, but I miss that limb.  I've been living with that limb since I was born, and it's been reinforced as a vital part of my makeup by everyone around me.
That little piece of culture has been preached over many a pulpit and in many classes full of young women eager to prove their worth based on the guidelines they're given.  Going against the grain on this one is a sort of declaration-to myself, and to other church members: I am not a Molly Mormon.  I do not sew; I love to cook, but it's organic, not bulk crap food from the food storage centers; I do not drink Tang; I go barefoot as much as possible; I have friends who identify as gay and lesbian; I believe in evolution sometimes; I am a feminist; I hug trees; I do 'weird' Pagan rituals that involve lighting candles and thinking about (GASP) Goddess; I plan on working at least part time, and it might even be outside the home, and it won't necessarily be because I have to; I talk to my Heavenly Mother just as much as I talk to my Father; I question things, and I use my intellect on purpose; and now I have the cutest ever pierced nose.

Tonight I'll be burning Molly in effigy, and saying a ritual goodbye to: unnecessary guilt, self-loathing, perfectionism, judging people based on appearance and expecting them to conform when they join the church (Acts 15, anyone?), and the layers and layers of fear deeply instilled in my soul by well-meaning teachers and parents.

So yeah. Go ahead and die, Molly.  Rest in peace.

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: it only hurts a little bit (now...), the swelling is on the inside, I'm taking very good care of it, snot will not come out the hole if I get a cold, sometimes it pokes when I rub my nose but I hardly notice, it won't get infected and make my nose fall off.

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