Two nights ago I lit ritual candles and drank milk out of a special cup. I meditated on angels and
stars. I spent hours talking to friends close enough to me to be called a coven, as we designed rituals to bond us and use our energy for mutual benefit.
Two nights ago, I got on my knees and prayed for each of my coven sisters by name for help in supporting them in specific trials they are facing. It wasn’t a whiny prayer or a begging prayer, but a solid prayer of faith and expectation of help. I prayed in the name of Christ, and imagined my Brother kneeling next to me with His arm around my shoulders, approving my words and desires.
Two nights ago, I acted as a Pagan Christian.
Many Christians cannot reconcile the two paths I tread. They don’t see how I need the extra ritual and mysticism to bring my mind and spirit to holy places.
Many Pagans shun Christianity because of the guilt-saturated traditions and the strict moral codes that they feel are harmful.
Here’s one way I make this work: prayer. There are piles and piles of articles and books on the law of attraction—how to make it work and make all your dreams come true. And there are piles and piles of spells and rituals that involve sending your will into the universe. I certainly believe in that, and I believe that anyone can get anything they desire on this earth. But that’s only half the story.
There are scriptures that explain you only need ask for something and believe that you’ll receive it, in the name of Christ, and it shall be given you. How many Christians can actually pray with that kind of faith? Too many of us shoulder unnecessary guilt or over-indulge in appropriate guilt. We feel unworthy, blemished, imperfect, unlovable. Our prayers are begging and pleading for things while deep down we don’t truly believe we’ll ever get what we ask for. I've been that way, myself. I don’t want to be that person anymore, and Pagan rituals are strengthening my Christian faith.
My prayers are mostly short: I ask for guidance in my path, I express my deep gratitude for the blessings that never cease, and then I’m done. Throughout my day, I expect that guidance because I know my Heavenly Parents love me and want me to be happy. You could say I have a prayer always in my heart. Then I’ll do rituals that involve lighting candles and feeling the strength of my power and will to create something or heal someone. I hug trees and find stillness in nature to quiet my mind so that it’s open to divine influence. Then I go and do the work I feel pulled to do—whether it’s schoolwork, playing with Sprout, making feminist comments at church, writing she scriptures, or talking for ridiculous amounts of time to a coven member when she is in crisis.
So here is my testimony: Jesus is my Savior and Redeemer. God and Goddess are my Parents, and they both want to hear from me. The earth has a spirit, as does everything upon it. There is a life force and energy that we have the power to manipulate, and the responsibility to manipulate with caution, generosity, Divine guidance, and courage. We are all connected, and loving the weirdos and freaks; the gays and homophobes; the socially inept and the smooth politician; and your family, warts and all, is the only way to find the path to true happiness, whatever your religion.
These are the things I believe, and strive to live in accordance with.