Two nights ago I
lit ritual candles and drank milk out of a special cup. I meditated on angels and
stars. I spent hours talking to friends close enough
to me to be called a coven, as we designed rituals to bond us and use our
energy for mutual benefit.
Two nights ago, I
got on my knees and prayed for each of my coven sisters by name for help in
supporting them in specific trials they are facing. It wasn’t a whiny prayer or a begging prayer,
but a solid prayer of faith and expectation of help. I prayed in the name of Christ, and imagined
my Brother kneeling next to me with His arm around my shoulders, approving my
words and desires.
Two nights ago, I
acted as a Pagan Christian.
Many Christians
cannot reconcile the two paths I tread.
They don’t see how I need the extra ritual and mysticism to bring my
mind and spirit to holy places.
Many Pagans shun
Christianity because of the guilt-saturated traditions and the strict moral
codes that they feel are harmful.
Here’s one way I make
this work: prayer. There are piles and
piles of articles and books on the law of attraction—how to make it work and
make all your dreams come true. And
there are piles and piles of spells and rituals that involve sending your will
into the universe. I certainly believe
in that, and I believe that anyone can get anything they desire on this
earth. But that’s only half the story.
There are
scriptures that explain you only need ask for something and believe that you’ll
receive it, in the name of Christ, and it shall be given you. How many Christians can actually pray with
that kind of faith? Too many of us
shoulder unnecessary guilt or over-indulge in appropriate guilt. We feel unworthy, blemished, imperfect,
unlovable. Our prayers are begging and
pleading for things while deep down we don’t truly believe we’ll ever get what
we ask for. I've been that way,
myself. I don’t want to be that person
anymore, and Pagan rituals are strengthening my Christian faith.
My prayers are
mostly short: I ask for guidance in my path, I express my deep gratitude for
the blessings that never cease, and then I’m done. Throughout my day, I expect that guidance
because I know my Heavenly Parents love me and want me to be happy. You could say I have a prayer always in my
heart. Then I’ll do rituals that involve
lighting candles and feeling the strength of my power and will to create
something or heal someone. I hug trees
and find stillness in nature to quiet my mind so that it’s open to divine
influence. Then I go and do the work I
feel pulled to do—whether it’s schoolwork, playing with Sprout, making feminist
comments at church, writing she scriptures, or talking for ridiculous amounts
of time to a coven member when she is in crisis.
So here is my
testimony: Jesus is my Savior and Redeemer.
God and Goddess are my Parents, and they both want to hear from
me. The earth has a spirit, as does
everything upon it. There is a life
force and energy that we have the power to manipulate, and the responsibility
to manipulate with caution, generosity, Divine guidance, and courage. We are all connected, and loving the weirdos
and freaks; the gays and homophobes; the socially inept and the smooth
politician; and your family, warts and all, is the only way to find the path to
true happiness, whatever your religion.
These are the
things I believe, and strive to live in accordance with.
Blessed be.
Beautifully written. Thank you. :)
ReplyDeleteI have been following jenni for several yrs now .... And have been continously pulled back to mother wheel... I am recently divorced... And felt at a loss spiritually.... I was very much a novice pagan before i was baptised... And live how u ladies have been able to tie it together!! I just ordered the books u all reviewed on mother sheel... Thank you... For the examples u all set and for all u do... <3
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