Dryad, authenticated

I had a lovely evening with someone last night who is sure to become a dear friend.  We have an age difference, different pasts faith-wise and otherwise, but we are a we.  Most definitely.  We shared as much of our stories as we possibly could in the short time we had together, talking and listening  and talking some more.  I may have found a circle!
So anyway, one of the things we talked about was becoming authentic, or true to ourselves.  Me being true to myself involves a lot lot lot of communication with these:


  
 

And also this:
    

But it's more than that.  The fact is, I've never been able to give myself permission to feed the aching hunger to make nature a significant part of my life and worship.  I am still active in the faith of my birth, but it has become a complement to my Self, not its definition.  A part of me grieves for the loss of my security, for the things I've always known.  And the other part is dancing with wild abandon in the joy and ecstasy it has been missing out on for decades because of fear and guilt.  I am finding myself, and that self is spending a lot more time with Paganism than I ever would have thought possible.  I am also a newborn feminist.  I can see the harm that a strictly patriarchal society/culture/religion can do to women.  (But just so we're clear, I still believe the mother's place is in the home the vast majority of the time.  I just think that the way we define home needs a HUGE overhaul.)
I used to be disdainful of young adults who would leave responsibility behind to 'find themselves', or of parents who neglected their children because they didn't know 'what they wanted'.  I'm starting to understand the search now.  It's hard to conduct the research necessary to reach the deepest, darkest corners of myself and light them brilliantly while I have a husband and son to care for.  So it's now a balancing act because I would never put them aside to focus solely on myself.  It's unfortunate that I couldn't take the steps on this path when I was single and searching for a purpose, but the experiences that I've had along the way were vital to the understanding I have been able to reach.
I am ME!  I am not defined by my life or experience or even belief system.  I am an evolved intelligence, unique and beautiful and growing ever stronger.  The inner me that has been silenced for so very, very long is speaking in a cracked whisper, begging for nourishment.  And I am feeding her.  At long last, I am feeding her.